More on the Wedding

I've recently discovered that it is impossible to schedule a short date for a minimal, sensible wedding because, at some point in the process, fiancées connect to a primitive female communications sub-carrier, which appears to men to consist of slow, deep-in-the-jungle drumbeats, a link that removes the discussion from anything a man is capable of understanding. I suspect all women of all races, ages, and nationalities have an innate ability to receive, understand, and transmit these messages. Requirements are flowing through, at first slowly, now in a torrent:

1. The wedding must be in September. (I'm punctuating these items with periods because of the implied finality.)
   
2. I must buy a new suit, which must be gray (I've agreed, and we've agreed to disagree on what constitutes a "gray suit." I'm shopping for formal Morning Dress in protest).
3. There must be a new wedding dress, and new clothes for her children.
   
4. We must have a professional photographer at the wedding.
   
5. I must buy myself a wedding ring in addition to her ring (or the women will gossip that I have another lady somewhere).
6. There must be invitations for wedding and after-wedding activities for a variety of special relatives. No, a telephone tree of calls is NOT sufficient.
   
7. There must be a party afterward (I've added mariachis, and delayed it a few weeks).
   

And these, uh, requests, keep coming, and with greater frequency. Apparently, the more time there is to plan, the more planning that must be done.

For the most part, I've learned that "yes, dear" is the sole correct response. I make small noises when I think the cost will be too high.

Here's Ivonne's picture taken yesterday inspecting the outdoor wedding facility after we got the marriage license:

Ivonne. Click for on picture for larger version.