Thursday, February 5, 2009

A sign on a guidepost

I'm writing this blog as a stream of consciousness. I know some of what I am going to write before I do it, but I hate being too tightly wrapped, too self-controlling, up front. That's the job for editing later.

Often, I write about people I know. That's tricky, especially since they might discover this blog (because, probably, I sent them the link) and find passages about them, at times highlighting discomfiting observations of how they handled the challenges with which they were presented. For that reason, I'm trying very hard to wrap myself up tighter than usual when writing about my friends. And of course I don't identify them personally.

But also, and this is the point, even though I wrote the first post a few days ago, I am revising it whenever something I dashed off strikes me as incomplete, wrong, misleading, or pointlessly revealing. I think the whole thing is an evolving process. Writing is, after all, the method I use to think. It evolves. And so will this blog, hopefully to the benefit of those who face these kinds of decisions and procedures.

And if I am found murdered, be sure to ascertain the identity of the people I write about :)

3 comments:

  1. Why are you having a second SCT now if you're not sure how much time it will buy you?

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  2. Because I am much more sure about how much time I will have if I DON'T have it. And it isn't a lot, and even if I could manage a couple of years, what forces these decisions is when the quality of ones life has deteriorated so, essentially, deciding to do or not do the SCT is balanced. The risk of a poor outcome is balanced by an existence that is presently poor. So either one is really no worse off, or there's a benefit. That's why.

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  3. Hello. Glad to have found your site and a fresh perspective. I, too, have MM. I completed an ASCT in August of 08. Did the whole thing as an outpatient. Saw Doc Durie at an IMF meeting in Seattle. Also, smelled some of the same tear gas you did in Berkeley. I was an undergrad at SF State. Maybe that's the link to the MM? The tear gas, not the liberal education. LOL.

    If interested, you can link to my MM site by clicking on my Wishlist.

    I anticipate hearing all about your treatment. Be well...

    ReplyDelete

They spam, I moderate. When you send a comment, it will disappear for a bit until I am notified. It hasn't been eaten. On the plus side, I can now reply to questions or suggestions, if you have any, in the comments!